falling for you.

we can't choose who we fall for.

if we did, maybe i wouldn't be in this situation.

maybe i could actually choose to like a guy who will return the feelings.
but no.
i'm stuck liking the one guy i doubt will ever see me as more than 'one of the guys'.

you're one of the only ones who has the power to crush my heart with one comment.
i could be on top of the world and then you say one thing and suddenly i'm looking at myself in the mirror asking what's wrong with me?
and yet i still can't help following you like a naive puppy as you run in front dragging my heart through the dirt.

there are times when i get a feeling in my gut that you like me too.
maybe you stuck up for me, even if we were all joking around.
or maybe you looked a little jealous when i mentioned another guy.
but then i'm back to being the girl you only talk to in school.

because the second i think that maybe, just maybe, i've finally found a guy that i like and who likes me back, you say something or make a comment or do something that just breaks me down again.

you say i'm one of your girl friends and i know that you're one of my guy friends, but what if it's not enough sometimes?

what if i just want ONE guy to be there for me?
to stick by my side no matter what.
to actually care about me.
to listen to me when i'm having issues.
to laugh WITH me when i fall, only to help me up and ask if i'm ok.

but no.
we're just friends.
stuck in a constant circle of me wishing, you ignoring, me wanting, you not caring.

i make you laugh.
i make you smile.
i make you mad.
i make you irritated.
i make you crazy.
i make you feel better.
but what can i do to make you love me?