one of the boys.

one of the boys; doesn't sound so bad does it?
being around a bunch of guys, laughing and joking around without fearing what people are going to think of you...but it's not that fun.

but what happens when you fall for one of those guys...?

suddenly whenever he sits with someone else you get mad. when he picks his friend to be his partner instead of you, you're a bit hurt. when someone else sits next to you instead of him you want to stand up and yell "no! someone's sitting there!" when they haven't even walked in the door.

it's hard.

especially when you know that he will never see you for more than 'one of the guys'.

because when you tell a joke and he laughs, the same laugh is recycled moments later with another person. when he smiles at you, he uses the same smile to talk to the boy next to him in a few minutes. when you have an inside joke, he takes the time to explain it to his other friends so they can be in on the joke.

it just hurts when you're sitting there practically screaming "NOTICE ME!" and he's telling jokes with all of the other guys. and then you laugh. not a happy laugh like it's the funniest joke you've ever heard, but a forced laugh to cover up the fact you wish that someday he would look at you and see more than just 'one of the guys'.

imitation is the sincerest form of annoyance.

imitation (n) -the performance of the act whose stimulus is the observation of the act performed by another person.

in lamen's terms: copying someone else.

related topics: followers, wanna-be's, copycats, stooges.

life. it's a pretty broad topic don't you think? God has given all of us life to do what we please with it. make it our own. express ourselves. show who we really are.

now here's the confusing part. why on earth people are going to revolve their lives around what others do. i mean, what's in it for you? you get to claim that you and this person have the same interests? things in common?

what about the fact it's all a lie? it's not you. saying that you love a certain band, type of music, color, subject, whatever, isn't going to make people like you more and isn't going to get you anywhere except a world of confusion when someone asks you the question "who are you?".

if you don't really like a band, don't say you love them because someone else does; because you don't. if you have a different favorite color as someone else, don't say that they have that in common; because you don't. if you like a certain genre of music and someone else likes a different one, dont say you're into that music too; because you aren't.

when someone makes up a phrase, don't say it excessively like it was the pure creation of your mind. when two people make up something to call each other, don't take it and use it.

odds are in all of these scenarios the person you are stealing from likes that thing or made that phrase up because it's who they are. it's them expressing themselves.

people who imitate and copy others make it very hard for the people they're stealing from to be themselves. how can you honestly stand up and say "i love (insert thing here)" if someone else is going to just say "yeah me too!" and try to get closer to you that way?

you're living a lie. it's not you're life. it's not YOU.

so knock it off. i myself am not saying i've never done this, but i have recently noticed that everyone needs to stop. USE YOUR BRAINS. DON'T STEAL FROM SOMEONE ELSE'S.

people respect you when you're being yourself. people HATE YOU when you copy them.

stop being such a wanna-be for crying out loud and get some creative thought. no one likes it when you steal from them, and no one likes YOU when you steal from them. so stop.

it's gonna come back around.

it's gonna come back around.

don't you love those moments in life?
the ones where you're wondering "why? why me? what did i do?"
the answer; most likely nothing.

the superficial egotistical brats who run our schools, communities, ect. just apparently have nothing better to do with their lives than make ours living hell.
these are the years when you're trying to figure out who you are, what you want to do, and who you WANT to be. however, our thoughts are usually clouded by this thing called "bullying".

have you ever been sitting in class and your teacher brings up a point you have an opinion on and you look around only to be afraid of raising your hand in fear someone will laugh? the effect of bullying.

it's a dangerously over-looked subject to parents in which they tell us to "talk it out" or "tell to a teacher" when in fact if you do either you are either more of a loser or a snitch.

don't you love the way life works?
you try to branch out; they step on you. you try to be yourself; they crush your confidence. teens and young adults are becomming SCARED to be themselves in fear of others and it's wrong.

why do they do it? for kicks? or for the fact that their lives are so boring and juvenile and consist of an empty future that has them so scared, they're desperately searching for something to take their minds off their obvious empty abyss of a life?

my guess? the second.

the world behind my wall.

here i go.

anyone know the song? tokio hotel? amaazing.

this is my first post, so it's not really full of a lot of interest, but just you wait.
so much to say and so much to share.
this is really going to show how i really think and feel, so if you're in for a heck of a ride.
no holds.
no exceptions.

buckle up buttercup.