one of the boys.

one of the boys; doesn't sound so bad does it?
being around a bunch of guys, laughing and joking around without fearing what people are going to think of you...but it's not that fun.

but what happens when you fall for one of those guys...?

suddenly whenever he sits with someone else you get mad. when he picks his friend to be his partner instead of you, you're a bit hurt. when someone else sits next to you instead of him you want to stand up and yell "no! someone's sitting there!" when they haven't even walked in the door.

it's hard.

especially when you know that he will never see you for more than 'one of the guys'.

because when you tell a joke and he laughs, the same laugh is recycled moments later with another person. when he smiles at you, he uses the same smile to talk to the boy next to him in a few minutes. when you have an inside joke, he takes the time to explain it to his other friends so they can be in on the joke.

it just hurts when you're sitting there practically screaming "NOTICE ME!" and he's telling jokes with all of the other guys. and then you laugh. not a happy laugh like it's the funniest joke you've ever heard, but a forced laugh to cover up the fact you wish that someday he would look at you and see more than just 'one of the guys'.