dear blog readers,
i'm not perfect.
there are so many things about me that are so far from perfect:
i'm judgemental.
i honestly sometimes lose sleep at night because i KNOW i hurt someone by being so judgemental and i KNOW it made them feel bad. although they might be stuck with the memory; i'm stuck with the guilt.
i can be mean.
i have previously made people feel TERRIBLE and i have to live with that.
i'm hypocritical.
everyone is at some point, get over it.
now after accepting i am all of these things about myself, i sometimes ask the question "why?"
"why did God make me like this?"
"why would he want someone like ME walking around the earth?"
and then it hit me (rather, it KICKED me).
i met the one person out there who counters my bad faults.
the phrase oppsoites attract; simple right?
well this one will hurt your brain: we are exactly alike, and yet two completely different people.
now stay with me.
in some ways, we are "twins", as some people call us.
but she is so different than i am.
she keeps me under control.
she is the yin to my yan.
when i am judgemental, she is accepting.
when i am hypocritical, she is genuine.
when i am cruel, she is caring and kind.
when i am being cynical, she is dreaming.
when i am being pessimistic, she is positive.
when i am taking things as a joke, she is serious.
but when i'm running through the snow barefoot, she's right there with me.
when i'm getting attacked by a swan, she's running and screaming ten feet in front of me.
when i'm singing a ridiculous song, she's harmonizing.
when i'm laughing at a fail of a movie (let's just use 1000 BC as an example), she's laughing her butt off on the floor in below me.
when i'm robbing a bank and going to jail, she's waiting at the station paying my bail most likely laughing at me for getting caught.
the point is, this entire post is dedicated to her.
the one who knows me better than i know myself.
the one who keeps me from making the world such a dark place.
the one who not only sees me, but sees multiple sides of me.
the one who, let's be honest here, puts up with me.
because i am so thankful of her existence in this world.
i honestly can't picture my life without her.
and honestly, i would probably vow to never see the world outside the four walls of my bedroom if she ever left me.
and i know that i don't even deserve her.
she deserves a saint as her best friend.
because she is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
let me put it this way, you all know i'm messed up.
well me WITHOUT her would be worse by ten fold; trust me.
the bottom line? i'm thankful.
so thank you Thea Nicole Hickey.
just for being alive.
<3
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That is a incredibly sweet blog Becca! It is indeed a measure of a person's growth when they can clearly see in themselves the faults that others too easily observe sometimes. But to also discover and understand that which drives and inspires you, and indeed makes you a better person, also shows incredible introspect. Unfortunately, quite a few adults lack this keen perception you already possess, not too mention many teens as well. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteTrue friendship can be as elusive as a warm sunny day in the middle of a harsh New England winter, but just as equally treasured. I commend you on a very grown up blog post and sincerely hope that you and Thea will remain best buds forever. ;-)
--Thano